It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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