I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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