I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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