5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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