What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize