I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
