i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
