tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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