I just made out with a guy for $7.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
