Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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