Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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