It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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