I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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