she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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