I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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