bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
