So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
