Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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