Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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