The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
