you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
