she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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