Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Quick, to the slutcave!
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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