I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
