Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
