dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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