He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
