"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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