It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
pop tarts are not kleenex
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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