I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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