Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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