Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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