one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
