Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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