That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
