But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
