There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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