I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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