My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
A+ Viking dick
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
