It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
