Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
