I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
