I wish I could punch you in the face.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
