I got chris browned last night
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
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It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
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In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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