No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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