I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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