I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
