I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
