Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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