it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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