I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
