I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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