I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize