My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
