So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
