It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
