I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
