I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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