It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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