she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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