I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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