sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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