yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
